of life as A DOCTOR

So, am a registrar, am pursuing my postgraduate degree in Obstetrics and Gynecology. I am doing what I love, it is my passion it is my life, sounds very glamorous right? hold that thought, right there.....

I went through medical school, it was crazy, has always been and it will forever be, it was tough, it was rewarding, I gained so much knowledge in such a short time and had good days, horrible days and at times....plain boring ones too. What gave me nightmares most days was the days we would have Major ward rounds though....the Consultants would dress you down, insult you, ask you the only question you hadn't read about, scare you shitless about how you would never pass exams with the kind of knowledge you had bla bla bla and the spirits would be crashed.....but never completely because we all still lifted our heads, went back to the library, read some more and even attempted several more Ward rounds until we eventually did exams and moved on to the next level. At one time I had sworn I would never go back to school, I would never want to be that registrar who's given that thorough dress down and in front of the over eager and overzealous undergrads!

Yet, as fate would have it, I did eventually go back to school. Am back to the grind, the Ward rounds, The dress downs the harassment, the work that never ends. Residency is tough all over the world, most people go for even 72 hours whilst on their feet....I guess this is supposed to toughen me up? But could I just ask for what I want? Please................

I am a Masters STUDENT. I am pursuing a Masters degree to be a Specialist. I am HUNGRY for knowledge. I am at This Prestigious University to LEARN, TO SPECIALISE to be THE BEST. I am very passionate about this, this is life from here going forwards, as MJ said it, this is it! SO when am in school, and work,( somehow the two have become interchangeable).....I want to see my patients, I want to give them the best care, I want to spend time with my pregnant client, I want to answer her 1001 questions. I want to reassure her, I want to be so thorough so as not to miss the subtlest of signs!this I can't humanly do, if ever day am in the clinic, I get forty files! By the time am seeing number40, seriously I shall not be making any useful decisions. I mean...How??

I am surgeon. Obstetrics & Gynecology ( Fellow doctors, substitute this with anything else you're doing, Radiology/ Surgery/ Neuro/ Ophthalmology etc)  is the most glamorous profession! I want to do my Colposcopy competently, I want to repair VVFs, I want to do pelvic floor surgery...I want to be a guru at Wertheim's Hysterectomy, I want to do my Cesarean sections like The prof who's posted these outrageously interesting surgeries on YouTube. I want to work with a team of brilliant professionals fro all the other fields. I want Excellent pathology Report, I want Precise and Concise radiography, I want Neonatologists who are world class by my side... I want Glamorous Doctors by my side.

I am a mother and a wife.A friend to many. I want a glamorous life. I want to feel like all the years I put in Med school...somehow paid off, that when I save that life, someone somewhere appreciated it, that when I see a baby I delivered so many years ago, has gone on to become a serious person in society. I want my Family to enjoy being under the wings of this "glamorous medical field". Yes I want to drive that good car, I want to afford medical care, the same medical care that am able to offer to my patients. I want to rest in my own house, take a holiday, enjoy a drink.....take in life, one sip at a time.

Pastor M, I have tried to be positive Day 5 and going strong. But you my dear patients, also appreciate your doctors, affirm us, pray for us. WE are the doctors, more often than not, we know what we are doing. Trust us, stand by us, support us. If you think one doctor said something you don't quite agree, seek a second opinion and a third and a fourth. It is your right.....and PRAY for us.

Next time you go to hospital, and find this dishevelled looking chap, with shaggy hair, scraggly beard, upturned un ironed shirt, and this trouser that is falling just short of some shoes that last saw a shoe brush ages ago...(You probably wouldn't allow your farm hand to even wear such in the farm) .Jut know this...He is probably just come from a night shift in a certain hospital, He had to go to school( read official work)to do a quick ward round before he rushed to this prestigious hospital to attend to you. He probably has a wife and child at home, who haven't seen him in the last 24 hours.He has no stable income, he needs to do this run around to Pay his Rent, Pay school Fees, Maintain his house, PAY SCHOOL FEES FOR HIMSELF and still send his parents Money because they expect it...I mean, which parent do you know who's not always bragging about having a child who's a doctor? She could be a mother, with a child and she needs to give this child the same opportunities she had when growing up, but with the measly pay or no pay at all....she hardly even has the time to breast feed let alone spend ample time with her child. Do I wonder now why those consultants were so mean to us? No! Life was tough and why shouldn't they pass on their frustrations to this disheveled looking extremely dejected young specialist?

That doctor could be THE doctor, who spent so much time saving lives, yet when it came to saving his own life from Severe Malaria, He couldn't afford Medical care and died. It could be that doctor who was working in such a poorly equipped hospital that a gas explosion occurred as she was working on her patient and ended up in ICU in a private Hospital, and because she couldn't afford the Unit, had to be transferred to a Govt Hospital and died. It could be that doc who couldn't afford specialised treatment abroad and died.....

COMRADES, enough said.